never been better

I started the Body for Life program on Wednesday, March 9th. Three weeks later and I have never felt better in my life.

• I'm cooking and eating really healthy
• I never realized how tasty the weird looking vegetables are
• I gained an inch of muscle on my biceps!
• My self-esteem is probably the best it's been all my life
• Cooking (instead of running to the cafeteria at school) is actually faster, because I cook one day a week and microwave the rest
• I've been having friends over for meals too -- which is the way that meals should be anyhow: communal
• I can run up a flight of stairs (while skipping every other one) without getting out of breath

All for the glory of God. My body being a temple for the Holy Spirit. Following this program is helping me love the Life I have.

Christ is Risen Indeed!

Hallelujah!

singin in the rain

Every day is a blessing and I have felt this more than usual this week. Things are going well. I finally feel like I have a place at CalArts. I'm working twice as hard on this week's costume project and it's paying off. I'm so pleased by the improvements. Attending Cornerstone Church on Sunday was a blessing. I'm developing deeper friendships with the other designers. I have a place. And this art world, this theatre world is exactly what I should be doing.

Life is going very well (for once).


And I know not to take it for granted. I know from past experience that life behaves very much like a sine wave, good to bad and bad to good. I am blessed regardless. Praise God.

Rob Bell

I know I've posted about this before, but Rob Bell is a gift to this world from God. He is the only pastor/preacher/whatever you want to call him that truly speaks to today's world. God speaks to me through this man. I've been in churches where the approach is to tell the congregation what their getting wrong and that Jesus is better. It makes me feel either angry or guilty. Instead, Rob Bell talks about all the ways that Jesus is better and lets you see for yourself what needs to change.

Go check out his sermons on iTunes. Mars Hill Bible Church.

The CEC

I think I may have found the church I want to go to when I move this fall.

All Saints Charismatic Episcopal Church.

:D

Oh.

I've
been
accepted
to
CalArts
holy
shit


I am in shock. I was not expecting this at all.
And when she said I was accepted, all I said was "oh."

two things

My heart was simply lifted of turmoil within 15 minutes and two phone calls.

1) I called NYU to cancel my appointment for my design interview. I explained that I could not fly to New York for financial reasons and she was very concerned about this. However, instead of simply withdrawing my application, she is going to try to work it out that I can mail my portfolio instead. I know that my chances of getting into a school like NYU are not incredibly high especially if the faculty is not going to meet me in person, but the kindness that the woman I spoke to showed me in understanding my situation really impressed me.

2) I used to see a chiropractor when I lived in Santa Barbara, however, when my insurance changed I could no longer afford to continue going. I called him today to see how much he would charge me for a visit and he quoted me at $35. $35!! I am so so grateful! I have never been shown so much care and respect by a physician than this man and he's only going to charge me $35. I have to pay a $20 co-pay just when I see a regular doctor. I'm going to see him this week when I come to see Mueveme Muevete. When I got off the phone with him, I started crying out of sheer relief because there's hope that this sciatic pain is not going to last forever even though it's felt as though it is going to. This Friday, it will have been a month. I'm ready for my foot to stop being numb 24/7. I know that he probably will not be able to cure me with one visit but I think that at least one visit will help.

EDIT: There's a third thing! Woo hoo!!

3) The dad of the couple I babysat for in high school needs someone at his law firm to do scanning work for all their paperwork. They are working on converting everything electronically. And I told them that I wasn't getting enough hours at work, sooooo I've got a second job! The secretary at his office called me today and I'll be going in tomorrow! It's going to be horribly horribly boring but I'm super stoked because I need the money quite badly. This is truly an answer to prayer! Thank you, God!

things that are good

Talking with people
Knowing someone is praying for you
Regaining hope
Regaining perspective
Feeling a little less pain, a little less numb
Letting go
Trusting in Someone Bigger than you

And...
trying not to freak out over my grad school interview next week.


This passage completely convicted me this week:
This is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not a child of God; nor is anyone who does not love his brother. This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.
1 John 3:10, 16-20 NIV, emphasis mine

peace be with you

Last night I watched a movie on Lifetime (I know Lifetime right?) called Prayers for Bobby. It was based on a real life story about a boy who came out to his family, who were fundamentalist Christian. He eventually killed himself because he couldn't take it anymore. There was a scene in the movie where the mom eventually comes around after his death and she goes to this pastor/reverend at a liberal minded church. She starts crying and blaming herself because she knew now that nothing was wrong with him because God made him that way. And she blames herself and she knows she was the one who killed him. And the priest says that Bobby killed himself, not her. Then he says her:

"God has already forgiven you. When will you forgive yourself?"

It was a powerful moment that came back to me this morning in church while we sang the chorus of this song:

Lift high your chains undone
All rise, exalt the Son
Jesus Christ the Holy One
We lift our eyes to you

My problem is not God and his unapproving gaze resting on this sinner. That is a god of my own making, an unfortunate reflection of my own father. It's my unforgiving self judging all that I have done, all that I have thought, all that I lack. God's love is free.

And with that I will leave you a bit of silliness:

different than what you expected

After seeing a fabulous reworked show of "CUTS" I went out for drinks with a few graduated theatre faces and had a wonderful time. We talked about all our previous adventures, current hopes, and many aspirations. One of the lovely ladies present asked me to help design "Twelfth Night" which she will be directing at the high school where she teaches drama. I'm so stoked because it proves that even though I've graduated and now I'm moving home, the adventure certainly is not over. I have more projects to do and things to accomplish between now and the fall of 2009.

I'm so excited.

God is good

I just did all the maths on the babysitting jobs I have coming up and the after day care I'm working and I'm going to have enough money to pay my rent AND pay off my credit card bill! Hallelujah! God is good and he is taking care of me!