28 September 2009

grad school musings

I have a class entitled Graduate Play Analysis. It is formatted quite similarly to the 20th Century Drama class I once had with Dr. Delaney. This class continuously provides wonder and strife for me.

Strife: I feel like the professors (this is a team taught class -- there are 3) are wasting our time with silly questions and obvious answers. They encouraged us in the first week to really work hard and dig deep into the texts, but in class, we barely skim the surface of possibilities. I learned more about Chekhov's The Three Sisters at Westmont than I did in this class. Utter disappointment.

Wonder: I am continually amazed by the marked intelligence and eloquence of my fellow classmates. Each week we are assigned to reflect on one of the provided questions about the play and post it on our class's wiki site. 250 words each. My peers, these colleagues of mine, discuss topics I would not have thought of myself and do so with such clarity, creativity and conciseness. They make me glad I'm here and I so wish to know them better.

27 September 2009

new things

I'm starting a new blog. I'm calling it Searching for Ecclesia. I am using it to recount my adventures in looking for a church in the SCV. Should have 2-3 posts tomorrow afternoon (tomorrow being Sunday, though it is actually tomorrow already) to include last week, this week, and hopefully a post on the meaning of Ecclesia. That is, if I get my homework done :)

Go forth then! Become a follower and follow me thus!

18 September 2009

Politics Test

I'm a Socialist!! Hahahahaa!! I'm so not surprised.
You are a

Social Moderate
(56% permissive)

and an...

Economic Liberal
(8% permissive)

You are best described as a:


Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid
Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

10 September 2009

this week

has been great!

know why?

for the first time in a long time...I finally feel
like I'm in the right place.

08 September 2009

"Nightclub" by Billy Collins

You are so beautiful and I am a fool
to be in love with you
is a theme that keeps coming up
in songs and poems.
There seems to be no room for variation.
I have never heard anyone sing
I am so beautiful
and you are a fool to be in love with me,
even though this notion has surely
crossed the minds of women and men alike.
You are so beautiful, too bad you are a fool
is another one you don't hear.
Or, you are a fool to consider me beautiful.
That one you will never hear, guaranteed.

For no particular reason this afternoon
I am listening to Johnny Hartman
whose dark voice can curl around
the concepts on love, beauty, and foolishness
like no one else's can.
It feels like smoke curling up from a cigarette
someone left burning on a baby grand piano
around three o'clock in the morning;
smoke that billows up into the bright lights
while out there in the darkness
some of the beautiful fools have gathered
around little tables to listen,
some with their eyes closed,
others leaning forward into the music
as if it were holding them up,
or twirling the loose ice in a glass,
slipping by degrees into a rhythmic dream.

Yes, there is all this foolish beauty,
borne beyond midnight,
that has no desire to go home,
especially now when everyone in the room
is watching the large man with the tenor sax
that hangs from his neck like a golden fish.
He moves forward to the edge of the stage
and hands the instrument down to me
and nods that I should play.
So I put the mouthpiece to my lips
and blow into it with all my living breath.
We are all so foolish,
my long bebop solo begins by saying,
so damn foolish
we have become beautiful without even knowing it.

07 September 2009

Rob Bell

I know I've posted about this before, but Rob Bell is a gift to this world from God. He is the only pastor/preacher/whatever you want to call him that truly speaks to today's world. God speaks to me through this man. I've been in churches where the approach is to tell the congregation what their getting wrong and that Jesus is better. It makes me feel either angry or guilty. Instead, Rob Bell talks about all the ways that Jesus is better and lets you see for yourself what needs to change.

Go check out his sermons on iTunes. Mars Hill Bible Church.


I wish I had the words to say what I really think, what I really feel.

But it's like there's a block between my brain and my tongue.

And it's in these moments that I really wish that I knew how to write songs. Music usually seems to speak better for me than I do.

05 September 2009


...and only mostly unpacked.

At least the bed and the clothes are done.

02 September 2009


I have a few addictions:

Questionable Content
Bitch in a Bonnet
Girls with Slingshots
OffBeat Bride (I'm not planning a wedding, people, I just like all the creativity flourishing)
Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space (I know it sounds weird, but it's rather entertaining)

On TV:
The Office
Green Wing (albeit only on hulu and veoh.com, but still)

I will not have time for these things once I start school. Hmmm. Sad.

Oh well.

01 September 2009

ray of light through the window

Something I've posted frequently on how I have trouble trying to reconcile my past and my present. The faith I was raised in vs. the faith I discovered through learning at Westmont. It's hard to see sometimes how the two fits together.

I finally started reading this book that I bought a few months ago. Jesus Wants to Save Christians. It has been absolutely revolutionary for me. The book shows how what I've learned at Westmont and the faith I want to ascribe to is truer to the Way of Christ than most of what I've experienced before. I've heard over and over throughout my life that evangelism meant handing out Bible tracts and going on overseas mission trips. And I've heard over and over again that evangelism also meant that you live like Jesus in your everyday life. But no one really explained what that actually meant. So if you never understand, it doesn't make much of a difference in your life when all you hear is that your faith is something between you and God and nothing more.

This book is about people. People in relationship to God as individuals and as a community. We are connected to that state of exile, which the Israelites experienced so much. Oppression by the empire, but this time, the "Christian" nation is also the Empire. It's humbling to be apart of such wealth when so many are so without. Living the Way of Christ is about not forgetting what God has done for me and to do everything to love and help those on the lower socioeconomic level. Because God sees the suffering. He knows what happens in these human derived systems of corruption. We are made in his Image. Yet how often do we actually live like we believe this is true?

So many strands of thoughts trying to make connection. Sorry if you can't follow. Go read the book. It makes so much more sense than I do.