27 October 2009

I think too much.

Okay, maybe only just sometimes.

Because other times,

I don't think at all.

20 October 2009

playful things

Today I feel like sharing with you a bit of fiction. This is a new scene from Love Me Dead.

Very nice. What’s that there?

Please go away.

Nope. It looks like a -

She looks/motions suggestively at James.

Will you get your mind out of the gutter?

It’s not me, it’s your drawing. Roxy's going to hate it. (pause) What? You don’t believe me? Ask her yourself...

Phoebe wanders away, but not far. Roxy’s head appears above the chalkboard, a spotlight makes her look like a floating talking head.



Roxy, do you love me?

It’s like the Beatles, James. All you need...is a formula.


People don’t fall in love with people. They have a chemical reaction: one person’s pheromones responding to another’s. It has absolutely nothing to do with “cute” or “nice” or “pretty” or “sense of humor” or -

(interjecting) Okay! I get it!

- or “nice smile” or “kind” or “good with kids.” or “tight butt.”


As you psychologically build someone up as a romantic interest, your brain releases addictive chemicals into your body, like dopamine and oxytocin, when in said desired person’s presence. We often mistake this for emotions of happiness.

Always the romantic, you are.

Side effects often include mood swings, dizziness, loss of appetite, increased heart rate, sweating, nausea, insomnia, and increased bloodflow to the genitalia. Since these pleasure stimulating chemicals retain many addictive qualities, one of the greatest difficulties for someone suffering from love is to, in fact, stop seeing their romantic interest. Neil Sedaka seemed quite aware of this when in 1962 he produced the song: “Breaking Up is Hard to Do.”

Roxy! Roxy, listen to me! Love...love is giving up your jacket when it’s cold. It’s fighting with each other til there’s nothing left to do but to kiss and make up. It’s giving them the last bite of your favorite dessert. Love is driving 21 hours straight, across the country, just to be with them for a day. It’s stroking their hair when their head’s in the toilet.

Some researchers have shown similarities in the brain activities between subjects in love and subjects with mental illnesses.

(to himself) Love really is a madness, isn’t it?

Yes, James.

Roxy disappears.

14 October 2009

singin in the rain

Every day is a blessing and I have felt this more than usual this week. Things are going well. I finally feel like I have a place at CalArts. I'm working twice as hard on this week's costume project and it's paying off. I'm so pleased by the improvements. Attending Cornerstone Church on Sunday was a blessing. I'm developing deeper friendships with the other designers. I have a place. And this art world, this theatre world is exactly what I should be doing.

Life is going very well (for once).

And I know not to take it for granted. I know from past experience that life behaves very much like a sine wave, good to bad and bad to good. I am blessed regardless. Praise God.

13 October 2009

in the morning

This morning, I wake up.
I go downstairs to make a cup of tea with the song "I Only Have Eyes For You" stuck in my head. The incessant chords, the doo wop sound and the melancholy melody reflect my own state of mind.

I Listen to the outside world and the wind Howls. I look outside. The sky looks pissed. The wind talks back. Like in Ingrid's song.

"My bones are shifting in my skin
And you, my love, are gone"

What is it about the morning and just waking up that makes me acutely sensitive to emotions and/or a sixth sense? Like a place between dreaming and waking. And my mind works in overdrive in twisted repetitiveness of "what does it mean?"

Nothing, Gogo. It means nothing.

11 October 2009


New favorite movie. Stunning visuals. Art direction and costuming was beautiful. It created its own fantasy world for the modern day. Loved it.

10 October 2009

where my peeps at?

Something I'm just completely baffled by is that the other first year MFA costume designers don't seem to want to socialize together. I've tried organizing dinners or asking to do things on weekends and there's always this attitude of not wanting to or simply forgetting.

On the other hand, the set and lighting designers are all very friendly and want to socialize a lot. I've hung out with a group of some form or another 3 times this week. That's 3 times more than any other week this semester. I have a feeling that these people, rather than the costume designers, will be my network, my group, my homies, my posse.

Things are better when you've got a posse.

On that note, I think I should mention the insanity of this Friday evening. We went to an Indian restaurant (Karma) to celebrate Simon's (he's a set designer) birthday. There were ten of us. We had a wonderful time, talking and laughing, etc. The true fun began when we returned to the design studio on campus because Miriam (puppetry program) had decided to make a cake for Simon. This was no ordinary cake. They made the cake look like a big oak tree with angel food, tootsie rolls, and ho hos. The cake was featured on a piece of cardboard alongside a pile of cornflakes to simulate the sound of crunching leaves for the little action figure wrestler turned scarecrow to walk on. The design concept was to bring autumn to Simon since Simon is no longer in Philly.

This is CalArts.

I'm so glad that I'm here.

In other news: I joined NetFlix. Yay.

04 October 2009

I feel

For fear of sounding incredibly emo, all I can say is...

I feel.

I feel a great many things.

03 October 2009

Ingrid Michaelson!

To celebrate my birthday I went to San Diego with my mom and my sister today to go see Ingrid Michaelson play at the House of Blues.

Seriously, fanfreakingtastic show. We ate at the House of Blues beforehand, which means that you get to skip the entire line for having done so. This also meant that our place in the standing room only venue was really good.

We took tequila shots during the opening act, which was Greg Holden, a young man from a small town outside of Manchester, England. He was great. I really enjoyed his stuff.

And then there's Ingrid herself, a master of humor and audience interaction. Oh and did I mention she has a gorgeous voice and sounds about a million times better live than on the album? And the album is fantastic to begin with.

She did not sing my favorite of her little diddies: "Giving Up" but it was such a great show that I don't think it really matters.