29 June 2010


Made By Lex is my new favorite blog.

It's all about fashion, design, and sewing. If you go to the left sidebar, there's a "refashion" button that takes you to all the posts with tags that show you how to resew old clothes into awesome clothes. I feel very inspired by it! There's also the "daily wear" button where she occasionally posts pictures of what she is wearing. Such great fashion sense! Go check it out.

24 June 2010

I hope it's gonna make you notice

But you can't see right through me. You probably can't see Me at all. Even radiation can't penetrate the walls around this heart. It's probably why I feel so lonely.

It's an x-ray pin up calendar. Which is pretty damn amazing.

22 June 2010

but hope that there is a you...

This song, by Sara Bareilles, has been in my head far too much as of late.
It's all made of my own devices.
Just about the time the shadows call
I undress my mind and dare you to follow
Paint a portrait of my mystery
Only close my eyes and you are here with me
A nameless face to think I see
To sit and watch the waves with me till they're gone
A heart I'd swear I'd recognize is made out of
My own devices....
Could I be wrong?

The time that I've taken
I pray is not wasted
Have I already tasted my piece of one sweet love?

Sleepless nights you creep inside of me
Paint your shadows on the breath that we share
You take more than just my sanity
You take my reason not to care.
No ordinary wings I'll need
The sky itself will carry me back to you
The things I dream that I can do I'll open up
The moon for you
Just come down soon

The time that I've taken
I pray is not wasted
Have I already tasted my piece of one sweet love?
Ready and waiting for a heart worth the breaking
But I'd settle for an honest mistake in the name of
One sweet love.

Savor the sorrow to soften the pain

Sip on the southern rain
As I do, I don't look, don't touch, don't do anything
But hope that there is a you.

The earth that is the space between,
I'd banish it from under me, to get to you.
Your unexpected love provides my solitary suicide
Oh I wish I knew

The time that I've taken
I pray is not wasted
Have I already tasted my piece of one sweet love?
Ready and waiting for a heart worth the breaking
But I'd settle for an honest mistake in the name of
One sweet love.

14 June 2010

"I don’t drink wine from wine glasses."

I wrote a whole page of crap in Microsoft Word. It's basically me just ranting in a particular writing style. Maybe I'll make it into a story or a play or a screenplay. But now that I've gone and said that, I'll lay too many expectations at its doorstep and nothing will come of it.

One Sweet Love

Some days I wake up with a song stuck in my head. It's usually an indication of the state of my soul. This morning it's "One Sweet Love" by Sara Bareilles. If I actually lived according to my feminist ideals, that song would not be haunting me as of late. I am full of contradictions.

"A nameless face to think I see to sit and watch the waves with me, til they're gone."

11 June 2010


Sarah posted this on facebook. It's too amazing.

10 June 2010

the Germans capitalize all their nouns

Punctuation and capitalization heavily influences my writing style (including my poetry), and I thought it might be nice to explain my how I use capitalization. Though this may be something commonly deciphered. Oh well.

Here are two examples:

you - referring to the other, more intimate than the use of "they." Can be either singular or plural. I like clarifying the singular and plural in my poetry, specifically.
You - pretty much always God, the ultimate other being.

love - an emotion that is inexplicable but often expresses an attachment to someone/something
Love - the ultimate love that encompasses emotion and action into the best of anything and everyone that exists in the universe. This love is the love I constantly yearn for, sometimes feeling it physically at the core of my being.

Is this silly? Maybe. But there something symbolic to me about capitalizing a word.
Dear Internet Void,

How are you? I am doing well. I'm hoping you can answer a question for me: What is the "Real World" like? I've heard about it my entire life, but have yet to really understand where to find it. For example, when something disappointing happens, people will dryly say, "Welcome to the Real World." Or when people talk about graduating college, they talk about when they are "out in the Real World." Yet, despite an apparent assumption that there is an underlining universal understanding of the Real World, I have yet to encounter a satisfying description of it.

Most explanations of the Real World come from my extensive viewings of films, but I'm not sure if that is an accurate source for discovering the Real World. It is much more difficult to trust other people than what is often suggested on screen. I cannot identify with the Wealthy Successful Protagonist Who Is Handsome. Film cannot capture the depths of loneliness.

What I experience of life is so different from film and books, but what I know of life does not match this mythical idea of Real World. I often wonder why we make the decisions we do, especially when Time is fleeting, yet we spend most of our lives complaining about being either too busy or too bored.

If the Real World is mythical, and I have a certain view of the world, but ultimately I wish for the Real World to be like something else in order to exist in that kind of Real World, then where have I gotten myself to? Another illusion of reality?

With a year of graduate school come and gone, I wonder what life I hold in my hands? I was not the person I wanted to be. These walls around my heart kept me from reaching for the new, rather, I longed for the old things that are no longer mine.

I wish that the Real World could look a little bit more like Love.

09 June 2010

David Tennant

Definitely my new actor crush.

Doctor Who is on Netflix instant.
Hamlet (RSC!) is available online through PBS.
It's been a while since I've seen someone who looks that good in a suit.

Currently watching all three hours of the adaptation of Hamlet, but I must say that all I can think of is Sassy Gay Friend. Which then prompts me to laugh in the middle of his "to be or not to be" speech. Epic fail.

03 June 2010

Bählamms Fest by Olga Neuwirth

That is the title of the opera I am to design in the spring. So exciting!!

Here is the only description I can find of the opera:
"It's impossible to summarise the action except to say that bizarre, horrific things happen: lambs and a shepherd get their heads ripped off, animals speak, and one of the main characters is seduced by her husband's brother, Jeremy, who just happens to be half man, half wolf (though which half is which is never made clear). The cast list contains roles for a spider, a bat, a cooked goldfish, the skeleton of a rat, and Henry the Dog. It is a typically surrealist dream world, whose sheer strangeness and compelling dramatic pacing are vividly evoked in Neuwirth's music. Her aural imagination has always seemed exceptional, and here the webs of sound with which she surrounds the voices (which speak as much as they sing conventionally, and are frequently subjected to various electronic enhancements) are compelling. The ensemble writing for 21 players also includes a prominent part for the Theremin, the early electronic instrument, now almost extinct, which was given immortality by the Beach Boys on Good Vibrations. Here its unearthly timbres lend yet more sense of dislocation to many of the textures in the opera."

Here is a clip of the music: