I decided to listen to a podcast sermon from Rob Bell this morning. "Beware of the dogs" from October last year. Rob Bell is amazing, totally gifted by God. He is the pastor of Mars Hill Bible Church in Grand Rapids, Michigan.
He talked about how humanity moves from a ego-centric understanding of the world into an ethno-centric, and hopefully into a world-centric view. And this is shown in Abraham; as Abraham is just a man who is blessed, who then in turn will bless his descendants, his tribe, who then will bless all the world, all the nations. And it's not just Abraham's calling. We are to move from ego to ethno to world-centric points of view.
And he talked about how he's talked to countless numbers of college students who when they leave their ethno-centric "tribes" of family and community and encounter a world much bigger than they ever knew, a Jesus much bigger than they ever knew and how they return to their tribe and all they get is nothing that they want or need. Criticism and scoffing for disrespecting the tribe. For "falling away" from the truth, when all they've done is seen that the Truth is so much bigger than the truth.
And there I am, caught in between these truths. Caught between loyalties to my tribe, to the world, and to myself. Rob Bell said something like: "how can they preach love and salvation to the world when they aren't even willing to have breakfast with the nations?"
It's not that I don't know who I am or who my God is after broadening my horizons, after learning at Westmont. I've often thought that was the case. Rather, it's that my tribe doesn't live in a world-centric view. As Christians, we are not here to bless each other all the time, we are here to bless the nations. In Love. Through Jesus.
My mom said to me last night when I was talking to her about making plans to move for school, that because not everyone at CalArts wouldn't be Christian that I should be really careful about trusting people. And it caught me offguard, because it's like, what have any Christians done to really make them more trustworthy than anyone else? I screw up all the time. I think about myself more than anyone else, and other people do the same. My roommate for the fall, she lists herself as an "atheist" on facebook. Why should this scare me? Why do we live lives of fear? We should live lives of Love!
And then I wonder "How?"
And then I just get confused.