playful things

Today I feel like sharing with you a bit of fiction. This is a new scene from Love Me Dead.
-----------------------------------

PHOEBE
Very nice. What’s that there?

JAMES
Please go away.

PHOEBE
Nope. It looks like a -

She looks/motions suggestively at James.

JAMES
Will you get your mind out of the gutter?

PHOEBE
It’s not me, it’s your drawing. Roxy's going to hate it. (pause) What? You don’t believe me? Ask her yourself...

Phoebe wanders away, but not far. Roxy’s head appears above the chalkboard, a spotlight makes her look like a floating talking head.

JAMES
Roxy?

ROXY
Yes?

JAMES
Roxy, do you love me?

ROXY
It’s like the Beatles, James. All you need...is a formula.

JAMES
What?

ROXY
People don’t fall in love with people. They have a chemical reaction: one person’s pheromones responding to another’s. It has absolutely nothing to do with “cute” or “nice” or “pretty” or “sense of humor” or -

JAMES
(interjecting) Okay! I get it!

ROXY
- or “nice smile” or “kind” or “good with kids.” or “tight butt.”

JAMES
I GET IT!

ROXY
As you psychologically build someone up as a romantic interest, your brain releases addictive chemicals into your body, like dopamine and oxytocin, when in said desired person’s presence. We often mistake this for emotions of happiness.

JAMES
Always the romantic, you are.

ROXY
Side effects often include mood swings, dizziness, loss of appetite, increased heart rate, sweating, nausea, insomnia, and increased bloodflow to the genitalia. Since these pleasure stimulating chemicals retain many addictive qualities, one of the greatest difficulties for someone suffering from love is to, in fact, stop seeing their romantic interest. Neil Sedaka seemed quite aware of this when in 1962 he produced the song: “Breaking Up is Hard to Do.”

JAMES
Roxy! Roxy, listen to me! Love...love is giving up your jacket when it’s cold. It’s fighting with each other til there’s nothing left to do but to kiss and make up. It’s giving them the last bite of your favorite dessert. Love is driving 21 hours straight, across the country, just to be with them for a day. It’s stroking their hair when their head’s in the toilet.

ROXY
Some researchers have shown similarities in the brain activities between subjects in love and subjects with mental illnesses.

JAMES
(to himself) Love really is a madness, isn’t it?

ROXY
Yes, James.

Roxy disappears.