I think I'm tired.
Not physically tired. I've slept alright the past few days esp. since I had days off. I think I'm socially tired. I think I'm spiritually tired.
I think I'm tired of the routine of always meeting new people. The coming and going. Never spending enough time with people in order to feel comfortable. I hide, I shrink inside my shell. Waiting for the time to pass til I can go on with something else.
I'm tired of this conversation:
"Where in the States are you from?"
"California."
"Oh really? Where abouts?"
"I'm about an hour drive from LA."
"And do you study?"
"I graduated from university a year ago."
"And what did you study?"
"English literature and theatre."
"And are you going on to graduate studies?
"I'm going to start a master's program in the fall. I'll be doing costume design. Like theatre and stuff."
"WOW! That's neat. I didn't know you could get a degree in that."
(you along with everyone else) "Yeah, there are lots of schools that do."
Can't I just hang out with someone who knows me?
Ugh. Lynne. I'm so sorry.
ReplyDeleteIt -sucks- to be in that spiritual place. The nebulous world of transition-that-seems-oddly-permanent.
I hope at least the physical beauty of your surroundings is still of some comfort to you. I have dreams of getting to Northern Ireland again someday.
In fact, that might be God's covert plan all along: people are dumb, so make pretty plants to look at (and smell).
:)
Peace...