21 April 2009

trust and love and faith and glory and peace

There are many things that plague my thoughts recently.

1) I don't have enough money raised for my volunteering at Corrymeela. Which means out of pocket when I don't have any money to contribute.
2) Any leave of absence over 30 days from Barnes and Noble means termination. Which means if I want to have my job when I come back I have to reapply and they may find someone while I'm gone who they'll train and stay longer than me anyway.
3) Money for grad school. When do I not worry about that?
4) Trying to get the insurance company to approve more physical therapy sessions because I'm not getting better. And the doctor's restriction is 10 pounds and I'm still pushing around heavy carts and I was hurting pretty badly this morning after shelving.
5) They added a zoning shift for me on Monday, which means that I'm won't be in SB as long as I thought I might be able. Which is hard because it is easier to work when there is space. The computer/sewing room at home is crowded with crap and I don't have much table space to work.
6) An odd sort of conversation I had Sunday where I didn't feel like we were communicating well and therefore, unintentionally misrepresenting myself. And some things that I said that when said out loud instead of in my head did not seem to accurately represent my true thoughts and feelings.

But life is more than money and I've felt enslaved to it since survival often requires some acquisition of it.

But God says to lay my burdens at her feet. Faith like a child. And if there will be tears, then why not anoint his feet with them?

She is the God who is my Mother and my Father. She is the God that made the mind blowing expanse of the universe. Who lives outside of time and when he looks at my life, just says "yep."

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