definitions

Church Harem \ˈchərch ˈher-əm\  -noun
Contemporary (primarily evangelical) Christian worship team comprised of male instrument players and female singers. Male leader must play guitar. Common attributes among the females: unnecessary six-part harmonies, color coordinated t-shirts, and excessive vibrato. Prayers in between songs that involve the word "just" are very common.

neeeeergaderg

I should have brought my big fluffy robe to school with me. Because it would help me feel a little less like crying today. Why? Because I have less than a week to come up with some brilliant design for Romeo and Juliet and I want something to wrap around my body and encase me in some kind of comfort. Maybe that's why I also really want to buy that Tenth Doctor coat.

RIP Opera Project

After a long hard struggle, the Opera Project at CalArts has finally breathed its last. It went into a coma three months ago, when it was brutally beaten in a back alley by the School of Music. It awoke again, a week later, but it was never the same. It had trouble communicating. No one quite understood this new opera. Only a month later it was on its way home from the hospital when the School of Music struck again. This time, it wasn't so lucky. In a series of risky operations and intensive life support assistance, they were able to save it, although it never woke from its coma. Finally, after months of anguish, difficult conversations, and a variety of proposals, the family pulled the plug. The life support system was cut and the Opera Project is gone.

May it rest in peace.



(only...what am I going to do?)

broken and beautiful

This lovely little creature was on my car's hood today. It was lying on its side, its wings a little worse for wear. I helped it stand up with an index card I dug out of my glove box. Broken, but beautiful. A little bit like me.

I left it in a eucalyptus tree next to the parking lot before I drove away. I don't know how long it will stay alive. But that's the way life is. We're born, we die, we live somewhere in between. Spreading creativity and beauty as best we can.

they're here

When I was a kid, I used to think that when I couldn't find my parents that the rapture had happened without me. Now in kid time, 30 seconds can seem like several minutes. I used to be truly terrified that I was left behind and would have to fend for myself.

Today this fear manifested itself in a different way. I am currently in Redlands at my mom's house, waiting for my mom to get off work. Once she arrives, our plan is to have lunch and then spend the afternoon at Disneyland. She said she would be here by noon, and it is now 12:36pm. I thought, "I wonder what's keeping her?" Instead of something logical, like something at work taking too long, or Thanksgiving traffic, etc, my mind immediately goes to Zombie Apocalypse.

Which then, I jumped directly to deciding on what my survival strategy is. Weapon resources: limited, my mom does not own a firearm, nor any large butcher knives. However, there might be a shovel or a pitchfork in the shed. Done. Transportation: I have my car, but only a quarter tank of gas. I would need to go into town to fill up. This might be tricky depending on how quickly the virus has spread.

Because I'm me, I would want to get as far away from the action as possible, because I don't know how capable I would be to fend off the zombies. But I've never gone camping, we don't have any camping gear, though there are a couple of sleeping bags. I wouldn't want to head back to Santa Clarita because Santa Clarita is a death trap being so close to LA and there aren't a lot of options for where you can go. North or south. Actually, going to the Santa Paula/Fillmore Valley might not be a bad idea. There's a lake and it's remote enough that you have to travel by car to get there.

Nevermind, she just pulled up the driveway.

Let the Rain by Sara Bareilles

This song feels the way life has felt lately.
---------------------------
I wish I were pretty
I wish I were brave
If I owned this city
Then I'd make it behave

And if I were fearless
Then I'd speak my truth
And the world would hear this
That's what I wish I'd do, yeah

If my hands could hold them you'd see
I'd take all these secrets in me
And I'd move and mold them to be
Something I'd set free

I want to darken in the skies
Open the floodgates up
I want to change my mind
I want to be enough
I want the water in my eyes
I want to cry until the end of time

I want to let the rain come down
Make a brand new ground
Let the rain come down
Let the rain come down
Make a brand new ground
Let the rain come down tonight

I hold on to worry so tight
It's safe in here right next to my heart
Who now shouts at the top of her voice
Let me go, let me out, this is not my choice

And I always felt it before
That the world was filled with much more
Than the drowning soul I've learned to be
I just need the rain to remind me

I want to darken in the skies
Open the floodgates up
I want to change my mind
I want to be enough
I want the water in my eyes
I want to cry until the end of time

I want to let the rain come down
Make a brand new ground
Let the rain come down
Let the rain come down
Make a brand new ground
Let the rain come down

I want to let the rain come down
Make a brand new ground
Let the rain come down
Let the rain come down
Make a brand new ground
Let the rain come down

Flesh-Eating Tigers

I saw a play tonight that did everything that I had wanted to accomplish with Love Me Dead.

It blew me away. The writing was so perfect, the characters perfectly imperfect, and the structure so very non existent. Wonderful. I can't help but feel a little jealous that she did so much in those 75 minutes of glorious complex vague words, but I also know that the writer probably has had more life experience than I have ever. So I guess that part makes sense. At least if we're going to believe the mantra of writing what you know.

And yet, I'm currently writing a zombie movie.
Which doesn't fit with that theory.
What is life but a bunch of theories to be explored?